Revelation!

It seems all my life I have been put down, taken advantage of, and at times fallen flat on my face. Somehow, I've managed to stand up and move on. As I look back on my life so far, I realize that I have had my share of mistakes. I allowed myself to be associated with others who mistook my kindness and generosity as a sign of weakness and they they attempted exploit that with their own agenda. I have dealt with this off and on throughout my life. I realize now that I just wanted to gain acceptance of others in order for them to approve and believe in me. I never once thought about protecting my interests, or maintaining the standards that I had fought so hard for. I failed to realize that the root of my problems were fear of rejection and being alone. A lot of things happened in my life that made the odds stacked against me. I am thankful for everything I have in my life, even simple things such as the aroma of breakfast cooking on the stove, and it doesn't matter if I'm cooking it or someone else is.

You can't change your past, and all you can do is do your best to pick yourself up. I've always lived by the phrase: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. No matter what, tomorrow is always another day. I will never give up, and I will always give everything my all. Through healing and forgiveness, we become stronger. When we forgive, it cuts the tie that binds you to those that have hurt you.

I have been doing a lot of reading lately, and I've come to realize that I have what it takes to be a social worker. I am a good listener, and am empathetic. I was worried about getting "too involved" with cases. I realized that if I lay awake at night worrying about something like a mother of two who can't seem to make ends meet and provide some of the necessities for her children, then I would be making it MY problem too and would be of little help to her. It's important to have empathy, not sympathy because if you lose focus, you are not going to help that person and their situation. Going back to school may put off getting a house for a few years, but this is something I truly believe in with my whole heart. I believe it will make me learn more about myself. In the end I will help others help themselves. It may not pay off for them right away, but they will have learned more about themselves in the process.

Enter title here....

I really wish I knew where I was going in life, and what I'll be doing next. After my last post, I started working for a new company, not in daycare, thinking I was helping out missing kids. It turns out that they were just ripping people out and our proceeds didn't go to help find missing kids. The company just paid for the t-shirt cost after they were sold. So much for that 20%. I also found out the job required 12 hr days, 6 days a week. No thanks. I quit after my first week. On my last day, they were trying to recruit a 40 yr old lady that just left teaching. She more or less help me decide to leave and look into finding a real teaching job. I don't think she was too interested in the job either. I was told lies, and would be lying to other people. I just couldn't picture myself lying to a mother of two and telling her that her money was going to a good cause when she was buying a disney bookset to help her children's literacy. I have had a few interviews, and one has been checking my references, so I think that's good news. If not, I will take UWM up on their offer of enrollment and go to school for social work.